I just finished reading Beth Moore’s new book All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir. Actually I listened to the audio version on Scribd, her own voice narrating. That way I could “read” as I exercised, drove, did the dishes, walked. I flew through it. Honestly, I could not put it down.
I have read numerous Beth Moore books and done some of her Bible studies over the years. I’ve never been a gushing fan girl, but I have always respected her. I respect her even more now. Her vulnerability in telling the truth, even in the hard and horrifying chapters of her life, is incredible. You can’t help but wonder when you read a book like this, will it be worth it? What price will she pay? Will her words do enough good to “break even”?
Counting the cost is a tricky thing to do, when you have no idea how much it’s going to cost you in the end. How do you add price tags you can’t even see clearly? And is there ever anything worth writing a blank cheque for? I think when we are desperate enough for truth and ready to be real, eventually we stop worrying about the cost — even if it ends up being our whole world walking out on us.
I’ve heard it said before — a real man or woman of God could never/would never/has never…
Feel free to fill in the blank with anything from burnout to blatant sin.
But you know what? I have more hope for a man or woman of God who is real than I do for that fictitious idea of real.
If real means maintaining this myth by locking away in our closets or sweeping under our rugs all the broken, wounded, and shadowy parts of our stories, then how will our lives ever point people to God? I’m sure many times this hypocritical tidying is done with the best of intentions. We want to put our best foot forward. We want to be a good testimony. We want to uphold an unblemished witness to the world.
But, hold on a minute. If we think we are supposed to be the unblemished sheep in the midst of all the wayward ones, we are gravely mistaken. Only Jesus gets that title! And only when a man or woman of God is real about their past, real about their struggles, and real about their only source of hope — the love and grace of God — will their lives ever point people to the true unblemished Lamb of God.
And just to be clear, by being real and talking truth, I don’t mean all of us getting comfortable in our brokenness, never pursuing healing for our wounds, and continuing to live in darkness! In recent years I’ve discovered quite the contrary. Terrifying vulnerability is what actually leads to true freedom and lasting transformation. It also points straight to the heart of God. And that, my friends, is what our world needs.